Coming out!


Below is a letter that I wrote to my mormon family to come out and tell them about separating from my wife. 

4/17/17

Dear Family,

            I am writing this letter because I am not sure how to confront this topic in person or even over the phone. Also, this is a matter that won’t be taken very well. Heidi and I are divorced. We have decided to go our different ways for a number of different reasons. I will be an active father in my children’s lives and Heidi and I will remain good friends. The situation is really complicated and I am not expecting anyone to understand.

            The story begins a long time ago. I knew that I was different when I was really young. Growing up in the church has not been easy. I was taught the same thing all you were taught; being gay was a temptation and if you had enough faith it would just go away. Growing up in the church, I believed that was true. I sought council and honestly believed if I did everything I was supposed to do, this ‘problem’ would go away. I prayed, I searched the scriptures, I prepared to serve a mission and went on one. I had no plans to get married but Heidi was there. She understood what I was going through and the temptations that I was facing. We got married, which I still feel was one of the best decisions of my life and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

            I don’t expect any of you to understand and I understand that you will be sad for me because no one gets married thinking it will end in divorce. I have every intention of be an active part of my kid’s lives. I think that everything happens for a reason. I plan to live the life I was meant to live. My personal beliefs don’t coincide with the teachings of the church. I still have a lot of respect for the church. I don’t agree with the culture that goes along with the church. Mormon culture can be cruel. I know you all need time to let this sink in, but please remember that I am the same person I was before you knew I am gay. I love you all and hope that you find it in your heart to try to understand where I am emotionally and mentally.  

            I don’t want you all to think that I gave up and obviously didn’t have enough faith to overcome this so called ‘temptation.’ I ask that you put yourself in my shoes and think about how hard it would be if your attraction for your spouses were a sin. You probably don’t think it is the same thing but it is the same thing for me. Just because a person’s path is different from member’s of the church doesn’t mean they’re being a bad example. If someone is successful and finds happiness in a path that differs from the church’s path, it doesn’t make us wrong, it just means that there are more than one path to happiness and success. I plead for acceptance and tolerance. I repeat, “I am the same brother you had before you knew I was gay.”


With Love Your Brother,

Jordan

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